Sometimes, sadness doesn’t come when it should.
My aunt died and I adored her.
I expected tears and wailing
Depression sinking in and leaving me despondent.
But the bleakness following her death
Wasn’t what I expected
My heartache felt like numbness
Pandemic, family illness, isolation—
The death of my aunt was just
Another stone for the pile of dysphoria
Threatening to topple my life.
It’s been a year now, and still
No tears have fallen.
Sometimes sadness is sneaky
Making me feel grief for not grieving,
Sorrow for not suffering.
Whatever Comes Next 